maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
