I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
