We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
