im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Your cock deserves a montage
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
40s are totally the cure
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
