It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Pooping to opera.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
