Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I looked at my own cervix.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize