operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
