I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
