So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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