Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
