what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
