what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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