Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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