I can tuck mytits in my pants
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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