they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
