I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
