glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In other news, I just burned my penis
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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