Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
