i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
