How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
