If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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