I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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