did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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