Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
