So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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