Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
