At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
