Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
