Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
