is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
