We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
