This house was built for laser tag.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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