butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
