I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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