We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
