And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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