I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
