But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
