wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
