I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
