two words: eviction party
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
