Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
