And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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