would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
