she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
