why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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