How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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