And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
