O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
