If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize