I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
