a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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