So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
