Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
