GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize