Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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