I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
