Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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