thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
